


saudade

by orphan_account



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Coda, M/M, post s01e07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2582324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor takes the flowers home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	saudade

**Author's Note:**

> **saudade** [portuguese]: a deep emotional state of nostalgia or longing for an absent someone or something

Connor takes the flowers home. They look out of place in his apartment, a soft explosion of colour against the sharp edges of his furniture and the white-washed walls. He thinks about how he spent over an hour in the florist searching for the right ones, searching for the right way to say _I’m so, so sorry_. He thinks about the cashier smiling and tying the bouquet up with a ribbon, saying that _it’s a lucky lady who has you to come home to_. He thinks about smiling in return, a little too forcefully, and leaving the store before she had a chance to give him his change.

He thinks about driving over to Oliver’s apartment, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. He thinks about the incessant thrum of his heartbeat in his chest as he drove, as he parked the car, as he climbed the three flights of stairs because the elevator was broken. He thinks about standing outside room 303 and wanting to throw up.

Connor looks at the flowers on his coffee table--ivy for fidelity, purple hyacinths for forgiveness, pink carnations for remembrance--and thinks about Oliver’s smile, his laugh, his dumb sweaters and cute coke-bottle glasses and that snuffling noise he makes when he’s sleeping. Connor looks at the flowers on his coffee table and thinks about all the things he didn’t get a chance to say.

Connor looks at the flowers on his coffee table until he can’t stand it anymore, and goes to bed alone.


End file.
